Farewell 2010

The last half of 2010 brought with it more transitions than I've experienced since the addition of new little ones into our family. Sadly - and thankfully - we are past those types of transitions, but these transitions were major ones nonetheless. We did end up in our "perfect house" even though the first time I looked at it I knew it was not the house for us. Through the experience we realized that God's path is much better (although not always smoother) than the path we would take on our own. Many turns along the path to our new home were not ones we had planned...from the exact neighborhood where we planned to live to the square footage (this was not the downsize we thought we needed, but a much needed rearrangement of an almost identical amount of space) to details with the loan to the sale of our previous home. Every turn made us realize God is in control and has a better handle on our life than we do, for which we are so grateful.
The day we officially became owners of our new home was also the first day we had all three children in elementary school. This hasn't been a huge transition for me personally, as half day kindergarten still allows me to have my sweet boy home part of each day. It has, however, been a huge transition for him. He had never expressed any reservation about a move, so it surprised us when he was the one weeping about the loss of his house. It's been heartbreaking to hold him as he cries and asks, "Why did we lose the house, Mom?" as if this was done to us instead of a choice we made - I suppose he may feel that it was done to him, and he had no choice in it. This has made every little transition difficult for him. Many days he says he is sick and can't go to school and should stay home with me instead. Last week he sobbed and told us, "I can't handle that Christmas is over. I just can't handle it." And today he told me that he isn't a good enough artist to start the art lessons he's been begging for for months. He even tried to tell me he couldn't go because he didn't put a belt on and didn't look good enough to go (he never wears a belt and I think he always looks good!). While it's difficult to watch him struggle, I don't let him stay home, I nudge him out, tell him it will be OK, and I'll be here for him. Life's transitions will continue and maybe this is his time to prepare for that.
Maybe that's what God is teaching me in the transitions. To trust Him. That my way isn't the best way. That when things seem scary or even painful, that when I'm digging in my heals because I want it the way it's been, that there is more for me out there. He's nudging me out the door into new and better things. It's OK because He's there for me no matter what happens.