All consuming

2 months ago I was on my way to Africa. I have stories and pictures and blog posts trapped in journals, on hard drives and in my head. I want to get them out and share my amazing experiences, but something else has been consuming me.

There is so much else I feel like I should also be doing this summer but can't quite manage; a garden of intention left to grow weeds (both literally and figuratively).

But instead, I'm learning to parent. Remember those all consuming days after welcoming a newborn into your home? Whether the first or second or beyond, it was a time of getting to know a new person and figuring out who they are and how you fit together as a family. I feel like I'm doing that all over again as we transition into the middle school years. Our daughter is an amazing, creative, passionate person. She is strong and opinionated and moody. (Not unlike me.) We are learning how to fit together as a family again. She is more independent than she's ever been before, she's making more of her own decisions than she has before, and most days she's more moody than she's ever been before. I'm learning to be in charge without being controlling, to lighten up more on things that don't matter, and I think I'm praying more than I ever have before. And at the end of the day I'm completely drained and often emotional and still not sleeping through the night.